Tabu on relationships: I don’t assess someone according to their marital status

Actor Tabu says that she doesn’t see why it’s a big deal ‘being single or being not single’. It never mattered to her that other people have always been curious about her own relationship status.

The love life of actor Tabu has always been one of the most private affairs in Bollywood. Stunning at 46, with a talent described as “sublime” by her Oscar-winning director Ang Lee (Life of Pi), she must be in a relationship, everyone speculates, and the inevitable questions about marriage have been coming at her for years. But for, Tabu, the speculation and the questions are of no importance, though she bristles a little at the sexism of it.

Actor Tabu says that despite all that has been written about her, she has chosen not to react to untruths.

‘All this — marital status and children — matter the most especially when you are a woman. I don’t know what people actually judge you for’ — Tabu, actor

“All this — marital status and children — matter the most especially when you are a woman. I don’t know what people actually judge you for,” says the actor. Tabu, who has starred in the recent release, Golmaal Again, says that people’s undying interest in her relationship status has never bothered her.

“Honestly, it’s not that it has stopped bothering me; the fact remains that I’ve never been perturbed [by this] at all. I don’t see what the big deal is, being single or being not single. For me, it’s not a [yardstick for] assessing somebody. I mean, I don’t assess someone according to their marital status or whether they have children or not. And if people do it for me, I don’t know about it and don’t want to go there,” maintains Tabu, whose birthday was in November.

Asked if it’s by choice that she isn’t married yet, Tabu gets visibly uncomfortable and replies, “Why do you want to get into that? Psychological analysis kyun karna chahte ho mera? Boring hai yeh question. Kuch aur pooch. (Why do you want to do my psychological analysis? This is a boring question. Ask me something else).”

‘Well, people have written whatever crap they wanted to, about me, which was false. But I never confronted them. That’s the way I am’ — Tabu, actor

Besides keeping her private life closely guarded, Tabu has also stayed away from most of the controversies and scandals in Bollywood. She tells us, “Well, people have written whatever crap they wanted to, about me, which was false. But I never confronted them. That’s the way I am and that’s how I want to be known as. I’ve always been like this. In school, I never fought. I knew exactly what the aggressive girls were doing, but I just stayed within my own self. It’s just my temperament, I feel.”

Tabu is of the opinion that reacting to some controversy means adding fuel to it. “So, when something is off the mark and so untrue, I don’t even want to associate myself with it. Sometimes, it’s just funny, sometimes amusing, and sometimes really frustrating [too],” she says. “At times, you resign [yourself] to the fact that — though I’m not okay with it, I sort of understood — this is the way that people want to do their job, and this is their bread and butter... and too bad that I’m the target.”

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