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Shaheen Bhatt: On losing a pet & being there for your friend
How long do you wait after the passing of a pet to get another one? And how the best way to know what your friend is going through is by asking her/him
Replacement issues
I lost my Guinea pig to the Delhi cold. My parents and boyfriend have decided to get me another one to cheer me up, but I’m not mentally prepared. How can I convey this to them without hurting their feelings?
—Justina Mathew, Delhi
Losing a animal is an extremely painful experience to live through.
No matter how many times you go through it, it doesn’t get any easier.
Like with all loss, healing takes time and you can’t move on by replacing your beloved pet.
Explain to your loved ones that what you went through was very painful and you don’t feel ready to simply move on. But also keep in mind that over time you will heal and you might soon feel differently. Losing our animal companions is unimaginably painful, but the joy and love you get while they’re around is irreplaceable. Take your time to heal, maybe you will someday be ready to fall in love with another furry friend sometime in the future.
Fake or take
I sometimes feel my best friend is faking her challenges with mental health. I’m there for her, but there are limits. Is there anything I can do?
—AW, Bengaluru
There is no way to know the actual extent of what your friend is going through.
Even if you believe your friend’s challenges are not entirely genuine and you assume that to be true, there is still something she’s going through that is causing her behaviour.
While it may not be what she says it is, it is still something that needs your love, care and support.
If you feel it wouldn’t be too badly received, try having a gentle and open conversation with her about it.
The only way to know is by asking her.
Shaheen Bhatt’s public outing of her own challenges with mental health fuelled discourse about a relatively ignored topic, and made her a role model for young girls to look up to
From HT Brunch, March 7, 2021
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