Malvika Sitlani gets real about dating as a single mom: 'Since when did wanting a partner become a sign of desperation?'

Fashion and beauty blogger Malvika Sitlani questions why wanting a partner is seen as ‘desperation’, highlighting the pressure to glorify singleness.

In an era where 'grind culture' and 'main character energy' often glorify total independence, content creator Malvika Sitlani is pushing back with a vulnerable confession. On March 16, the fashion and beauty blogger took to Instagram to challenge the stigma surrounding the desire for companionship, sparking a conversation about the realities of dating as a 33-year-old single mother.

Malvika Sitlani's post has sparked a conversation about the realities of dating as a single parent. (Instagram/ Malvika Sitlani)

Malvika, who has navigated a series of public and private upheavals — including the end of her marriage and the loss of her parents— shared that while she is 'self-sustaining', she refuses to buy into the narrative that wanting a partner is a sign of weakness.

‘Getting difficult to make space for someone’

Reflecting on the modern dating landscape, Malvika noted a shift toward isolationism. She observed that many people have 'given up' on love to guard their personal space, often labelling those who seek connection as 'desperate'. She said: "It’s trending to glorify singleness because people are afraid to have their hearts broken again... but giving up doesn’t seem like the better option."

For Malvika, the struggle isn't about a lack of independence, but a lack of bandwidth. She said her life currently revolves around her faith, her fitness, her career, and her daughter, Abigail.

She said, “As a single mum, it’s getting increasingly difficult to make space for someone. My days revolve around God, my fitness, work, and then tending to Abigail’s needs. By the end of the day, I don’t seem to have it in me, but I still crave connection. Whenever I express this, they call me 'desperate'. Since when did wanting a life partner become a sign of desperation?”

The 'single mom' dating dilemma

The influencer highlighted a common hurdle for single parents: the logistical nightmare of meeting quality partners outside of the digital sphere – Malvika admitted to trying dating apps but found them 'shallow and short-lived', noting they rarely accommodate those looking for the 'real deal'.

"I’m only at the gym, the grocery store, or the parks," she wrote, adding, "I don’t have the bandwidth to doll up and sit at a bar, and neither will I find my soulmate there." Malvika also addressed the unsolicited advice often given to single women — to 'put yourself out there' or 'stop looking' — calling out the exhaustion of trying to find traditional commitment in a world built for 'casual and quick'.

A season of surrender

Despite the exhaustion of 'riding this season out solo', Malvika remains hopeful. She shared that she has 'surrendered this singleness season to God', trusting that the right person will appear at the right time.

Her post touched on several points that resonated deeply with her followers. Her Instagram followers' response was supportive. They praised her for her 'courage' and 'vulnerability', with many echoing the sentiment that wanting to share a well-built life with a partner is a human necessity, not a flaw.

A comment on her honest post read, "It’s so important to have hope." Another said, “Hoping you find it with the right partner! We all deserve to be loved the right way.” An Instagram user also commented, "I see you, I hear you , thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this, being the voice of expression so many may feel and not find the right words for, thank you. Thank you for your courage." Someone also wrote, "That’s so brave of you to come up and talk about it so expressively."

By voicing the quiet frustrations of single parents everywhere, Malvika has turned the spotlight on a demographic often ignored by the 'hookup culture' generation: those who have it all together but still believe that life is meant to be shared.

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