E-Paper
Watching your friends get busy with their lives? Here's how to navigate loneliness without feeling rejected
Prefer HTon Google
When everyone around you seems busy, here's how to deal with loneliness without taking it personally.
Imagine it’s a weekend, and you feel like going out or talking to someone. But one friend has family plans, another is spending time with their partner, and someone else has had a tiring week and wants to stay home. Everyone has a reason, and none of them necessarily means that you are being left out. Still, the evening can feel a little disappointing when you were hoping for company. Adulting is hard, but it feels even more challenging when you start to feel lonely seeing your friends getting busy with their lives. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Shradha Chaturvedi, founder and CEO of GetCompanion, shares how to navigate loneliness.
According to Shradha, having good friends does not mean they will always be available when you want to meet. Work, family responsibilities, relationships, and personal commitments can make it difficult to find time together. The feeling of being left out can sometimes come from missing that connection, rather than from anything being wrong with the friendship itself.
Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same
“Spending time alone can be enjoyable when it is a choice. It offers an opportunity to rest, pursue personal interests or simply have a quiet day,” Shradha said. Feeling lonely, however, can arise when there is a desire for connection and no one seems available.
Sometimes, the need is quite ordinary. There may be news to share, a film to discuss, music to listen to together, or a walk that would be more enjoyable with someone else. These moments do not always call for deep conversations or a particular reason to meet. Sometimes, company is enough. “Recognising this difference can help make sense of the feeling without assuming that friendships are becoming weaker,” Shradha shared.
Make plans for yourself, too
When friends are busy, it is easy to keep checking messages and waiting for someone to become free. Making independent plans can help prevent the entire day from revolving around other people's availability.
This could mean visiting a favourite cafe, watching a film, going for a walk or returning to a hobby that has been put aside. There is no need to turn every free evening into an opportunity for self-improvement. Enjoying one's own company can be as simple as doing something that feels good.
At the same time, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone to join in. Being comfortable alone does not mean having to meet every social need independently.
Look beyond the usual circle
Friends do not have to be replaced just because their schedules do not match. Sometimes, it helps to have other ways of finding company without expecting every interaction to develop into a close friendship.
“A conversation with a colleague, meeting someone who shares an interest, joining a group activity, or reconnecting with an acquaintance can provide opportunities to spend time with others,” Shradha said. Even a casual chat or a shared walk can make a difference to an otherwise quiet day. These connections can complement existing friendships rather than compete with them. Different people may be available for different kinds of company, and not every interaction needs to carry the expectations of a close relationship.
Let friendships and other connections coexist
It is natural to miss friends when they are busy, just as it is natural for them to have commitments of their own. A missed plan does not automatically signal rejection, and wanting company does not mean someone is unable to enjoy time alone.
Existing friendships can remain important while there is room for independent interests and other social connections. Valuing close friends, enjoying one's own company, and finding someone to share an ordinary moment with can all be part of a balanced social life.
