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Spectator by Seema Goswami: This doesn’t quite fit
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From sexist dress codes to rude, elitist staff, India’s restaurants have an attitude problem. The food isn’t worth the drama
Are the trendy new restaurants of today in the business of hospitality or hostility? Well, judging by recent events involving members of my own family, I am inclining towards the latter.
A few weeks ago, my niece and her husband booked themselves into a so-called hip and happening place in Gurgaon (I’m not going to name and shame them, but you know who you are) for her birthday dinner. They were attending a concert before dinner so my niece was dressed casually – but decently – in loose-fitting trousers and a red T-shirt, with matching red sneakers. Imagine their surprise then when the staff at the door would not allow them in because she was dressed in – wait for it – sportswear.
An argument ensued, and while it was going on, my niece realised that a male customer, dressed in identical style, was allowed inside. When she pointed this out, she was told, “Oh, that’s different, he’s a man.” Excuse me? A man is allowed to dress comfortably and wear sneakers to go to an allegedly ‘trendy’ joint, but women are not? So, all women must sport a certain glamorous look to pass your vibe check, while men get a free pass?
The argument escalated, a manager was summoned, but instead of de-escalating the situation, he got even more aggressive and ordered them to leave. What about the deposit we paid when we booked, they asked. That’s not my problem, was his response, just get out of here. So, they did just that, wandered down the road to Comorin, where they were warmly welcomed, given a great time when they discovered that it was her birthday, with the staff even producing a cake to wish her.
It’s been weeks since this incident and despite registering a complaint, nobody from the ‘trendy’ restaurant/bar has called them to apologise, let alone return the booking amount that they have paid. You see what I mean when I say these places seem to have replaced hospitality with hostility.
This is the most recent example of this kind of snooty behaviour from restaurants. A few months back my husband went for an afternoon meeting to a five-star hotel, wearing his summer uniform of jeans, linen shirt and open-toed sandals. He was stopped at the door by a waiter who said their dress code did not allow open-toed footwear for men. Rather than make a scene, my husband and his associates moved their meeting. My stepson has been barred from restaurants for wearing sandals – which, frankly, are the only kind of footwear that makes sense in the Indian summer.
Why do so many restaurants persist in this elitist nonsense in this day and age? The answer is simple: because they can. No matter how many hurdles they put in front of us, how many times they insult us, we still turn up to be ripped off by their overpriced sushi and mediocre cocktails. Well, maybe it’s time to vote with our sandal-clad feet and walk away from these monuments to hostility. And go where people practice the art of hospitality instead.
From HT Brunch, October 17, 2026
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