Is Valentine's Day bad for your mental health? Here's what a psychologist says

Psychologist Mehezabin Dordi says Valentine's Day may be troublesome for some people's mental health irrespective of whether they are single or not.

The scale of Valentine's Day, which is celebrated every year on February 14 in the honour of a Christian martyr named Saint Valentine, is getting bigger with each passing year. In fact, the celebration of love is not restricted to a day anymore but has extended to an entire week - from Rose Day, Propose Day, Hug Day to Kiss Day - leading up to Valentine's Day and is celebrated with much fanfare. However, this entire hype around Valentine's Day can also have a detrimental effect on people's mental health as those in relationship may feel pressured to spend on expensive gifts and grand gestures while those who are single may feel their life isn't complete without a partner. As a result, in many cases the day can end up being difficult for mental health. (Also read: Tips to find the perfect partner when you are too busy to date)

"Valentine’s Day can be tough on your mental health, whether you’re in a relationship, or not.

Some people compare their relationships to the romantic Bollywood stories that light up our screens. Others feel under pressure from all the targeted advertising and expectations, and let’s not forget how damaging social media representations can be. Historically, much of the advertising around Valentine’s Day has been specifically targeted towards men. The holiday has been painted by marketers as a day in which men in particular should go out of their way to purchase opulent, flashy gifts, almost always for their partners. All of this creates a disproportionate amount of emotional stress in men. Whereas for women- it’s almost like their life is incomplete without a partner," says says Mehezabin Dordi, Clinical Psychologist, Rehabilitation and Sports Medicine, Sir HN Reliance Foundation Hospital.

Feeling of loneliness

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day affects everyone. For many, it’s a reminder that they might not have that special someone. The day can remind us of how lonely or sad we are or make us feel bad about our social skills or anxieties.

"Especially if you are single, the day can possibly enhance the feelings of anxiety, loneliness and can trap us into beating ourselves up and wrongly conclude that you're defective, unlovable, or even permanently broken etc," says Dordi.

"One of the major feelings one might struggle with is that of loneliness. Feeling lonely isn't a mental health problem in itself. But it's something that needs attention. This feeling can step from many reasons depending on the life circumstances one is dealing with. For example, going through a relationship break-up or bereavement or even not being understood by an existing partner," the psychologist adds.

Valentine's Day can affect our self esteem

Another noteworthy feeling could be that of low self-esteem. Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change.

"On days like Valentine's Day, you might see lots of idealised relationships. This could be on TV or social media, for example. This might be difficult, if it makes you feel like you or your relationships aren’t good enough or if you are single. Both these feelings if left unchecked can lead to more serious mental health challenges," says Dordi.

Singles may feel miserable due to this reason

"And of course, there is also anxiety which comes from a flawed way of perceiving being single as a crisis or a flaw that needs to be fixed. It is however important that you do realise that you do have a choice, to act and do things that overcome the unhelpful ideas generated by your anxiety or negative feelings. You can do things that help to build joy, love and value that make Valentine’s Day what it is truly meant to be, a day that celebrates love," says the expert.

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