Anxiety in children: Signs to watch for and how parents can help kids feel safe and supported

Children cannot verbalise their anxious thoughts. Parents need to closely monitor and promptly identify the signs.

Children are perceived as carefree, joyous, and stress-free. Anxiety may seem like an adult or teenage concern. But kids, too, can feel anxious and overwhelmed, even if they do not have the words to describe what they are going through. It falls on the caregivers, parents, siblings, teachers, and others around to identify the signs.

Psychotherapist Dr Chandni Tugnait, founder and director of Gateway of Healing, walked us through the possible signs that a child is anxious.

Often, parents expect children to verbalise what is troubling them, but emotional distress cannot always be expressed. She explained, "Most parents expect their child to come to them and say so when something is wrong. But young children rarely have the language to explain what anxiety feels like, so they end up showing it in other ways. Since these signs don’t always look like worry, they are often mistaken for bad behaviour, fussiness or a phase that the child will eventually grow out of.”

Parents need to make space for their children's feelings. (Picture credit: Freepik)

As per the expert, here are some ways a child’s anxiety shows up:

1. Shows up physically:

• A child who keeps complaining of a stomach ache before school or gets frequent headaches on Sunday nights may not be making excuses.
• For many children, anxiety is felt in the body first, and because they can’t connect that discomfort to a feeling, they describe the only part of it they understand.

2. Behavior changes quietly:

• Some anxious children become clingy and refuse to sleep alone, while others start throwing tantrums over small things that never bothered them before.
• A child who suddenly gets irritable, has trouble falling asleep or wants to skip activities they once loved may be trying to say that something feels like too much.

3. Pressure starts early:

• Children today are growing up with packed schedules, academic expectations that begin as early as kindergarten and screens that expose them to far more than they can process.
• Many also pick up on stress at home, even when the adults around them think they are hiding it well, and they carry that tension without knowing where it came from.

The psychotherapist's advice for parents includes being empathetic. She said, "Instead of asking a child why they are upset, it often helps to give them simple words for what they might be feeling, like scared or nervous, and let them choose what fits. Keeping daily routines steady, spending a few calm minutes together without phones or distractions, and staying patient with repeated questions can help a child feel safe enough to open up slowly.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.