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The people who make us who we are today
We all make mistakes and they can be grievous. But they don’t have to be held against you. I made many
Prefer HTon Google
A question I was asked at Manthan Samvaad in Hyderabad last week has set me thinking: Who would you identify as the key influences that have determined the sort of person you’ve become? There isn’t one single person I can name but, equally clearly, there are at least four that I would cite.
The first was my housemaster at Doon. His name was Gurdial Singh, but everyone called him Guru -- which he certainly was for many. He taught geography and supervised swimming. But, it was as housemaster of Jaipur House that he shaped my life.
Guru taught me three things that have stayed with me. First, never be scared to speak your mind. It’s better to be honest and risk upsetting a few than to flatter and deceive to keep everyone happy. Second, attempt to excel at what you believe you have a flair for; it doesn’t matter if you have no skill at sport. At Doon, where sportsmen are idolised, this was invaluable advice. I was a debater and an actor, and Guru showed me how to be proud of that.
However, it was the third lesson that was perhaps most important. We all make mistakes and they can be grievous. But they don’t have to be held against you. I made many. Guru overlooked them. It’s a principle I tried to practise in my relationship with others but I have never been as successful as Guru.
The second big influence was a very different sort of person. He taught me English literature at Stowe and, as ateenager, I hero-worshipped him. Brian Stephan was his name, but we called him Bertie. He was elderly with a slight stoop and many thought him curmudgeonly. I found him fascinating. He instilled in me a desire to learn, to question and to seek widely for the answers. He also taught me never to hesitate to express an opinion. It was better to have one and be wrong than to be tongue-tied.
I did a lot of growing up at Stowe and much of it happened under Bertie Stephan’s tutelage. I always wanted to impress him and he almost always made me feel I had.
Cambridge was a very different experience. Undergraduates are free to do as they want. Lectures are not compulsory and discipline is only lightly enforced. It was in this environment that Michael Kuczynski, my tutor, became a friend and great support.
He was a small man with a round head and a very deliberate way of speaking. He had eccentric ways, which some thought were affectations. He revelled in them. I guess this is what attracted me to him.
Michael taught me how to attract attention without showing off. The way one smiles, the turn of phrase whenyou speak, the movement of one’s hand — all of these can command attention. Michael was a master of this art. I learnt by copying him.
He also taught me wit, not so much “funny ha ha” but “funny peculiar”. The capacity to make people smile by the unexpected and the idiosyncratic.
In many ways, the fourth influence in my life made me the journalist I’ve become. Charles Douglas-Home was the deputy editor of The Times who gave me my first job when I knew nothing of the profession. He sent me to Lagos as the paper’s Nigeria correspondent. He would ring me at 11 pm every night to take me through my story, pointing out how I could have written it better. He taught me how to structure a news story. How to write so that the piece could be subbed from the bottom upwards. In truth, he took me under his wing and gave me confidence in my abilities.
Charlie made me realise a good boss can spot talent in his colleagues and help nurture it. It’s what I’ve tried to do. Not always as successfully.
I couldn’t say all of this at Manthan because, at the time, I had not thought it through. But this is the truthful answer to the question I was asked. I am what I am because of them.
Karan Thapar is the author of Devil’s Advocate: The Untold Truth. The views expressed are personal
