Spoilers Ahead by Rajeev Masand: The adjustment bureau

In Bollywood, a trip-up can go viral in minutes. Good PR can distract and course correct, but it comes at a cost. Celebrities often end up looking too rehearsed

It’s likely that you heard about (or saw the video of) the incident at the IIFA awards last weekend, in which Salman Khan coldly ignored poor Vicky Kaushal, and one of his security personnel shoved the Masaan star, when the two actors crossed paths in a crowded hotel corridor.

The video quickly went viral on social media, and Bollywood news websites wasted no time in amplifying the story. “Salman snubs Vicky” became the most popular headline on entertainment networks for the next 24 hours or so, until the next evening, at the same venue, when the two men ran into each other again on the red carpet. This time they embraced warmly. No signs of any animosity, no awkwardness from the events of the previous day, no drama whatsoever. But come on, they act for a living.

The point of raking up this incident is not to indulge in petty gossip, but to acknowledge the role of the flacks, the masterminds, the handlers, and the fixers on whom it is incumbent to change the narrative. I can bet my last rupee that the moment the original video spread like wildfire, angry, desperate calls were made to publicists and managers and consultants to do immediate damage control. Someone had the shrewd idea to suggest that the story would only fizzle out if somehow the problem was no longer a problem.

That someone also had the right connections to help execute the plan. It takes a village to clean up the mess made by movie stars. Highly skilled professionals work, mostly invisibly, behind the scenes, to fix situations, to salvage relationships, to pander to egos, and to make problems go away. When a star misses a flight because he’s too smashed to arrive at the airport on time, it is the job of a manager to book him on a different flight, to find someone to bear the cost of the new ticket, and to make sure it’s all done discreetly.

When an actor gets trolled for saying something stupid, it’s usually up to his publicist to remedy the situation. I don’t want to sound cynical, but when you see a video of an actor handing out food packets to kids at a traffic signal, know that some PR person came up with that idea so folks might forgive him his recent transgression.

Ranbir Kapoor had to apologise at a press conference after commenting on his wife Alia Bhatt’s weight gain while she was pregnant.

In these times of intense scrutiny and instant judgment, there is little room for irreverence and spontaneity. Last year while promoting their movie together, when Ranbir Kapoor made a joke about his wife Alia Bhatt having put on weight (she was pregnant at the time), the media and social media roasted the Brahmāstra: Part One – Shiva star. That had to be a publicist’s nightmare. He apologised publicly.

I’ve been in meetings where an actor’s team will hand over a dos-and-don’ts list to their client, forbidding them to say anything in response to sensitive questions that they anticipate may be asked at a public event. For the delicate questions, there are pre-scripted responses ready.

The greatest casualty of these hyper-managed times has got to be the muting of Shah Rukh Khan, arguably the most charming, most eloquent movie star of them all. Once the man who owned the room with his cheeky one-liners and witty comebacks, SRK appears to have been advised that staying silent may be golden. The loss is entirely ours.