Can’t relax even when you have time to rest? Therapist shares questions that may help you understand why

If rest makes you feel anxious or guilty, these questions from a therapist may help you understand the reason.

In today’s fast-paced world, slowing down is no longer a luxury but a necessity. However, it comes with guilt and anxiety. Gianna LaLota, founder of Mindful Mental Health Counselling, therapist, author, and speaker from New York City, took to Instagram on August 18, 2026, to share questions to help you understand why slowing down feels so difficult.

Gianna LaLota said, “Learning to slow down starts with getting curious about what’s underneath the pressure to always do more.”

Here are the questions that can help you understand the reason:

When did you learn that being productive was tied to your worth?

According to Gianna LaLota, the pressure to always achieve often starts long before we realise it. Maybe achievement once earned us love, approval, or care.

What do you believe rest says about you?

Gianna LaLota highlighted that many people carry the belief that rest means they’re lazy, falling behind, or not doing enough. There’s also often this idea that rest has to be earned. These beliefs are what bring up feelings of intense guilt when resting.

What are you trying to prove by always doing more?

“Sometimes productivity is less about getting things done and more about seeking safety or approval. Underneath the drive to constantly be busy and productive, there’s often a core belief of not being enough," emphasised Gianna LaLota.

What feelings come up when you’re not busy?

According to Gianna LaLota, for some people, stillness brings up guilt, anxiety, or discomfort. Sitting with these feelings isn’t easy. Over time, you can slowly start to rewire your brain to see that rest is safe and not something to feel guilty about.

Sometimes slowing down feels uncomfortable because it brings up fears and feelings we’ve been avoiding. (Unsplash)

What are you afraid would happen if you slowed down?

“Sometimes slowing down feels uncomfortable because it brings up fears and feelings we’ve been avoiding,” added Gianna LaLota. Maybe it’s a fear of falling behind, not being enough if you’re not constantly producing, or something deeper.

What would it look like to trust that you’re already doing enough?

“Maybe it looks like making space for rest, connection, and things that matter outside of achievement. It might also look like allowing yourself to rest without feeling like you need to earn it first,” said Gianna LaLota.

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