Reasons you don't have the love you want

From not believing that we deserve it to thinking that it will not last, here are a few reasons why we don’t have the love we want.

Often, we crave a certain type of love, but we do not get it because of the way we stop ourselves from being vulnerable to others. This can happen due to trauma and past experiences where we have been shames for being vulnerable or emotionally attached. However, when we keep building walls around us and stop ourselves, we do not encounter the love that we have been seeking. "Most people are blocking the love they long for and don’t know it. As humans, what we believe produces what we think, which produces what we feel, which produces what we do. How you show up in your marriage when things aren’t going the way you want is based on what you believe. You show up in conflicts with your spouse based on what you believe," wrote Relationship Coach Julia Woods. She further noted down a few reasons why we don’t have the love we want.

Reasons you don't have the love you want (Unsplash)

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We don’t believe that we are worthy of it: We keep thinking that we are not worthy of too much love – hence, we shy away when we receive a healthy kind of love. This can make us distance ourselves from the kind of love that we deserve.

We don’t believe we deserve it: We believe that we need to be perfect to get the relationship we want. Be it looks or personality or achievements, we keep downplaying ourselves. This makes us feel that we don’tdeserve the love.

We don’t believe it’s possible: We believe in a healthy form of love, but we are also extremely pessimistic about the world around us, and we believe that it is not possible for us to get that kind of love.

We believe it will end badly: We believe that even if we get the love we want, it will eventually not last, and we will be heartbroken.