Paul, predictions & parrots | mumbai | Hindustan Times
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Paul, predictions & parrots

United & squawking: The parrots’ association may be India’s only hope of knowing it’s fate at Olympics.

mumbai Updated: Jul 18, 2010 00:44 IST

The Soothsayer Parrot Association of India has threatened to strike work if Paul the octopus is allowed anywhere near India.

Parallel bodies Smart Monkeys Inc. as well as Pigeons Know Best have also taken up their cry.

All three have now jointly founded the Federation of Tree-living Purohits to muscle and feather their demands with the government.

The monkeys have, of course, been up to their tricks as they have managed to put themselves on the same platform as the birds that are far ahead of them in employment figures vis-à-vis future-speak.

But in this time of crisis the ruffled plumage is more eager to put up a united front instead of squawking about minutiae.

Headed by the suave parrot Mitthu, a delegation met the PM to list their concern about how their tree-top view was far superior to the bottomed out watery vision of the octopus whose prediction of Spain winning the football World Cup has made him an international celebrity.

They urged that the government should issue strict instructions to ensure that their right of being sole custodians of predictions is not threatened by creatures from the depths.

However, soon after the meeting, the monkeys raised a serious objection to Mitthu’s leadership citing the fact that he is an Australian Cockatoo and not originally from India.

They said that even if he is now an Indian citizen, his overseas birth disqualified him from representing the birds of the soil. That died down quickly after someone in the government alluded to Sonia Gandhi.

One of the first measures adopted by the united front has been to offer freebies to customers.

Certain sections of the electronic media have gone berserk over the development with breaking news programmes under headlines like ‘Tote ka badla’ (revenge of the parrot).

The one plus one offer has seen a spurt in the predictive business like never before.

The official parrot of the Indian Olympic movement (since that’s the only reliable way to figure just how India will perform in any sporting event) has been reeling prediction after prediction about how India will dominate the forth-coming Commonwealth Games in Delhi.

Any journalist suggesting that with most top athletes staying away India is bound to do well and thus implying that the parrot is all squawk and no substance has been viciously carpet-bombed by bird droppings.

With Spain offering to the tune of 35,000 euros for ownership rights to Paul, Mitthu and his gang have heaved a sigh of relief.

The immediate threat is over but the united front has decided to stay forged in case more fishy predictions emerge in the future.