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Was Lindsay Clancy intending to have a fourth child? Secret notes reveal bombshell details, ‘I sort of resent my…’
Lindsay Clancy's note, weeks before the alleged murder of her children, reveals her desire for a fourth child and struggles with parenting her youngest kid.
Massachusetts mother Lindsay Clancy expressed her desire for a fourth child in a recently disclosed note, which was written just weeks before the alleged killing of her three children, as jurors were informed on Thursday.
“I really want a fourth child but I need a good therapist before then,” Clancy, as per NY Post, apparently penned in an extensive entry in her phone's Notes app on November 3, 2022. This was two months before she was accused of fatally strangling Cora,5, Dawson,3, and Callan, who was 8 months old.
“I still don’t want Cal to be our last but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another,” she wrote.
Lindsay Clancy's note reveals parenting struggles
Deep Dive
In the note, she also mentioned that she was having some internal conflict, as she always intended to have many children throughout her life. Clancy continued that she was undecided about beginning a new medication for anxiety and depression.
“I want to feel happy, but it would be nice to feel authentically happy and not fake.”
Clancy faces allegations of murdering her three children with exercise bands at her residence in Duxbury before inflicting cuts on her wrists and neck and subsequently jumping from a second-story window on January 24, 2023.
Her defense attorney plans to request that the Plymouth County jury acquit her on the grounds of insanity, contending that she was experiencing severe postpartum psychosis exacerbated by a combination of prescription medications.
Prosecutors, however, assert that her behavior depicts a premeditated murderer who had grown weary of parenting the children.
Lindsay Clancy's challenges with Callan
The distressing entry from the Notes app – which was recited in court on Thursday by Timothy Chiappini, a state trooper who examined Clancy’s cellphone – disclosed that the mother was having difficulty managing the care of Callan.
“I’m sad and depressed because I’m not able to parent my third child like my first. I want to treat every one of my babies like my first, but I know that’s not a feasible possibility,” her note read.
“I’m sad that I stopped breastfeeding – I feel not as connected with Cal now,” Clancy said, adding that she had experienced significant "stress" regarding her breast milk supply, which led her to avoid leaving Callan's side.
Lindsay Clancy's one regret about Cora and Dawson
Additionally, she described feeling "traumatized" by the process of sleep training the infant – reflecting previous statements made during the murder trial, where the mother revealed her battle with extreme sleep deprivation.
“I needed a baby that slept through the night, because I simply do not have the opportunity in my life to catch up on sleep. I just don’t. When Cal naps, I have to take care of Cora and Dawson. That’s just how it is,” she wrote.
The note additionally disclosed that Clancy was struggling with negative emotions towards the older two children, which the younger ones sensed.
“I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that’s not fair to them. I know that,” Clancy said.
