Dowry deaths | Nayab Midha writes poetry on dahej, says patriarchy and misogyny have become part of our DNA

Spoken word artist, poet Nayab Midha shares what compelled her to write her recent poem Dahej, which has been getting the spotlight amid the ongoing dowry debate in India due to the recent case of Twisha Sharma. Read on

Artistes often observe what is happening in the society and question what doesn’t sit well. That’s what compelled spoken word artist-poet Nayab Midha to gather, upload her sentiments in her latest poem titled Dahej. She, like many others, also feels affected “emotionally” by the recent death of 33-year-old Twisha Sharma at her marital home in Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh.

Spoken word artist and poet Nayab Midha recently posted an Instagram Reel with her thoughts on dowry and also penned the poem, Dahej (Dowry) that has received more than 50K likes.

Disapproving the social stigma of dowry, Nayab’s verses vociferously penned in Hindi, begin this way: “If you want to give something to your daughters...”

She mentions how she is married “in an amazingly supportive family” for almost a year, and shares how the paradox of the situation is that she feels “grateful” for it. “Shouldn’t it be the norm to have supportive in-laws,” questions the 29-year-old, adding, “Then why do girls like me feel thankful when we get a family that understands the difficulty of a girl having to leave behind everything to start afresh after marriage? It’s because we are conditioned to think like that while growing up!”

“I don’t know how, but not speaking up about dowry deaths would have impacted my mental health,” confesses Nayab, insisting that we all “collectivity need to speak” about this immoral social taboo, and “educate whatever is left of our youth, to speak up as well”.

Mention how cases of dowry deaths and women abuse are higher in urban cities vis-à-vis the rural areas, as was the prevalent assumption earlier, and Nayab is quick to comment: “I’m not surprised!” Ask her to elucidate and she shares: “Umeed zyada hoti hai bade shehron se (Hopes are higher with bigger cities) because these have people with higher education, growth and industrialisation. But that doesn’t make these places better. I still remember how I came to Delhi, in 2014, to study in a college, and my classmate asked me thrice in shock, ‘Tumhari mummy kamati hain (Your mother works to earn money)?’ So I’m not shocked... Patriarchy and misogyny have become a part of our DNA, and this is what makes me worry.”

To those using the “comments section to justify the heinous acts of dowry deaths and troll her” in her recent Instagram posts, where she has been vocal about the grim reality of married Indian women, she doesn’t shy way from stating: “The whole point of feminism is equality. It doesn’t aim to divide men and women, but intends that both share the load — emotionally, financially, and physically.”

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