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The miracle, God and I

Since that night my faith in Divine Glory has been unassailable. Not that I haven't lost sleep in anxious moments yet...

india Updated: Oct 18, 2003 17:01 IST

This is not a fictional account. I might have to change the names of people that I make a mention of just in case they desire it to be so. Rest all is true but there is obviously no way that I can prove that to you. The only motive behind writing this is to share with anyone (who is just as inclined towards) the little discoveries that I make in my attempt to see that which is not tangible but more real than what is. I really do look forward to hearing from whosoever wishes to write back to me about one's own feelings on the 'subject'. The link for writing back is given right below my own account. I hope to write to you every Wednesday and Saturday.

Hi! You know what, when I posted my previous column I simultaneously prepared myself for a great deal of flak from a lot of you who I thought would hit back saying that I am doing nothing but spreading a lot of superstition around. In fact my own colleagues were like 'you are one whacko' and 'look at you, making up stories and making a fool out of gullible souls … and you call yourself educated?' and so on and so forth.

But not one protest mail from any one of you out there... maybe no one read it the last time... maybe indifference... maybe acceptance... I wondered but not for too long - I am learning the lesson of doing my job and then letting go of it - oh, how tough it is - but guess what, I have been smiling a lot more often now!

And yes, one person asked, "Aren't you confusing people by talking sometime of the Divine Mother, sometime of the Divine Father, sometime of the Loving Masters, at other times of the deity and then yet again this talk about a kul devta now? I mean who do you have faith in?"

Has this been making some of you uncomfortable too? It is actually quite simple - it is the Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent Energy that I talk about, give It whichever form you like, how does it matter at all? I mean the Divine is surely not going to refuse you an audience just because you call Him/Her by the name you are comfortable with - are you seeking to limit the Infinite?

Chalo- that bit takes care of the questions that people around have been asking me and I thought I might as well share their reactions with you all.

And now about the second experience, which I have been dying to tell you about:

My husband and I were moving out of our first-ever rented accommodation. Now, after having moved into this first one, we had, over a period of time, acquired a few household items but forgot this important detail while booking the van. The van we booked was the same size as the one we had used to move in. Now predictably (in hindsight of course), after trying long enough to fit everything in the given space the helpers gave up. "Sir, you would have to make alternate arrangement for the left over stuff otherwise it will be double the amount if we make another trip to ferry the items," they suggested sincerely. We nodded, feeling like absolute idiots.

The need of the hour was the small cart attached to a bicycle kind of stuff. Now, now, where does one find that 9:30 in the night? Couldn't think of one single spot in the adjoining areas where we could have hoped to find one but still my husband set out to look for it just in case we got extremely lucky. As he stepped out and left me behind, sitting with the forlorn pieces of furniture, I prayed, "Please thakurji, just this once. I hate to bother you for such small favours but then we really need it. Please arrange for it, please".

After sometime my husband returned but without the carriage. "What should we do man, just can't think of anything anymore; as it is I am too tired now," he said morosely.

I looked the other way, closed my eyes and silently spoke to my thakurji, "It's fine. Never mind it. Please don't think that I am feeling let down. Maybe I didn't deserve your grace, maybe I am not yet worthy of miracles... maybe I am not yet equipped to handle your miraculous intervention for our smallest of needs. My salutations to you my loving Master, accept my salutations to you."

As I finished talking to the Kind Guru, I happened to look towards the main gate and guess what - a man was parking his vacant cart just outside our apartments! Holy Lord! As I write this to you my eyes are welling up with tears... that memory still overwhelms my soul. Excitedly, I told my husband to rush for the chap and while he ran towards the gate I sat there absolutely still... I sat there wondering what had I done to deserve that blessed moment, I sat there humbled to the ground... I was melting and my whole being was wrapped around the Master's feet.

Since that night my faith in the Divine Glory has been unassailable. Not that I haven't lost sleep in anxious moments, not that I haven't had difficult moments, not that I haven't been through times that just rip your whole being apart - when the pain is too much to bear but through it all, I have always known that I am not alone, that I am being watched over, that this is just the Test of Time, which I have to clear with grace and dignity... I stumble, I fall, I crawl too but then I get up and walk again, with my head held high for I recall that I am the Child of God in her school on Mother Earth. I have to make my Parents proud of me, I have to, this is my resolve and I hope it will be yours too.

I will write to you all again on October 22nd, Wednesday, till then ciao and take care.

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Chapter 8
Chapter 7
Chapter 6
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1

First Published: Oct 18, 2003 16:00 IST