The Brunch round-up: The week and how it made us feel

We were lowkey sad when we heard that Amelia Dimoldenberg (she of Chicken Shop Date) was seeing someone who’s NOT Andrew Garfield. Now, Garfield has been spotted with Monica Barbaro in London. Plus, Noah Centineo and Zoë Kravitz are together. Grab popcorn. It’s a Hollywood shakeup!

Guess who had the best enemies-to-lovers story all along? Jackie Chan. His dad, Charles Chan, was a Nationalist spy in China. His mum, Lee-lee Chan, was an opium dealer. Her met her during a raid and was supposed to arrest her, but let her go because he felt sorry for her. What? Why is there no HBO miniseries about this?

Drake hurled his orange Nike slide at a drone in Sydney, Australia, last week. Then, the town’s water department posted a picture of the shoe, which it found in the Darling harbour. Several orange sliders have been spotted in the waters since. Let’s find the Titanic gems now!

Polish dancer Nicki (@Loczniki_Official) almost convinced us that she was an NPC, with those blank eyes and robotic moves. But when her partner, Loczek, proposed to her last May, she cried very real human tears. A Sims-style wedding video, in which she glitches down the aisle, would be perfect.

That Russian tourist’s viral video, in which she asks Indians to pay ₹100 to take a photo with her, got us thinking. Why should foreign visitors have all the fun? Indian women have plenty of random strangers staring and asking for attention. If men had to pay up for being creepy, perhaps they might leave women alone.

TikTok influencer Annie Niu recently revealed to her 222K followers that for five years, she’d been posing as her sister, who’d died from meningitis, to avoid telling her elderly grandparents. She’d call them on holidays and other occasions, masquerading as her twin. She only came clean when her grandma was dying too. Get some therapy, Annie.

There’s a whole theme park dedicated to elevator buttons in Hachioji, Japan. It has a wall with 1,000 buttons to press (they light up too!) an infinite elevator box, and the 333 heartbeat buttons game — press as many of the 333 heart-shaped buttons as possible within 30 seconds. Intrusive thoughts for the win!

Having a baby this year? Science (Instagram Reels) tells us that if you have a baby by September, you can take maternity or paternity leave just in time for GTA 6 to release. Sigh. Don’t be delulu. A baby is no picnic. Maternity leave is no holiday. One eye on the baby and one eye on the screen isn’t going to work. Is this why there are no men in childcare?