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Rules of flirting: What's your style?

Brits are boorish, French flatter, Scandinavians play it cool, and Italians get intimate. Flirting, too, has distinct cultural traits.

Published on: Feb 13, 2006, 16:36:00 IST
None | By , Paris
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Brits are boorish, French flatter, Scandinavians play it cool, and Italians get intimate. Everyone does it, but how we flirt depends largely on our culture and a host of unspoken rules.

HT Image
HT Image

"Basically we are descended from a long line of successful flirts and it is hard-wired into our brains," social anthropologist Kate Fox told AFP.

"If we didn't initiate contact with the opposite sex, then we wouldn't reproduce, and the species would die out."

With Valentine's Day tomorrow, those searching for a soulmate or just for a bit of fun will be sharpening their skills, ready for a bit of banter and eyelash battering all in the hope of catching one of Cupid's arrows.

But beware of injury to tender parts. For the subtle rules of flirting vary so much, that foreigners are often caught unawares unsure if they are being courted or insulted.

In the Netherlands, touching strangers, even just a friendly hand on the shoulder in the pub, is a big no no, as is approaching or complimenting a stranger in the street.

In Britain, flirting tends to be alcohol-fuelled to cover up fears of intimacy and rejection.

"Frenchmen are less sexually obvious, there is less banter and they are more direct. They'll say cheesy things like 'you have really nice eyes'," said one young journalist.

It's also perfectly acceptable in France for men to walk up to a stranger in the street and ask them to go for a coffee, even at the risk of being knocked back.

In Sweden visitors may be deceived into thinking that flirting does not exist, since two strangers rarely exchange glances, a wink or a telling smile.

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