Unhelpful thinking styles that influence how we engage in relationships - Hindustan Times
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Unhelpful thinking styles that influence how we engage in relationships

By, Delhi
Aug 09, 2023 09:30 AM IST

From projecting insecurities on the partner to having negativity bias, here are a few thinking styles that negatively impact a relationship.

Sometimes we get stuck in the thoughts we have about relationships – this further has a deep impact in the way we perceive our partners and the relationship in general. Sometimes the way we think can be unhealthy and this can affect the way we navigate through the relationship. "When we get stuck in our heads, many of us engage in unhelpful thinking styles that influence how we perceive our relationships, partners and experiences. Getting out of our heads, having the conversations and talking about our feelings helps prevent us from getting swept away in these distortions and to stay grounded in reality," wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton as she explained the importance of getting out of our heads and having conversation or addressing the issues in the relationship.

Unhelpful thinking styles that influence how we engage in relationships(Freepik )
Unhelpful thinking styles that influence how we engage in relationships(Freepik )

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"If you struggle with these thinking patterns, please know there are plenty of activities and processes that can help," wrote the Therapist as she noted down a few unhelpful thinking patterns that impact the way we engage in our relationships:

Projection: This is a behavioral pattern when people project their uncomfortable feelings and thoughts onto their partner, making the relationship difficult for each other.

Discounting the positive: This is a behavior pattern where we stop acknowledging the positive things about the relationship and focus more on the negative. This creates the narrative that the relationship is not healthy.

Jumping to conclusions: Assuming and concluding the situations in a negative way without having proper healthy discussions can have a negative impact on the relationship.

Catastrophising: We always think of the worst-case scenario, making easy situations blow out of proportion where we are no longer able to handle things.

Personalisation: In this case, we try to connect and centralise things to ourselves, even though they are not related to us.

Negativity bias: This is the behavior pattern where we focus more on the negative, than focusing on the positive parts of the relationship.

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