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Cheating on Ms Perfect

Even attractive and successful women are not spared of the ‘other woman’ in their marriages.

sex and relationships Updated: Mar 21, 2010 14:55 IST

You may know Jesse James better as Mr Sandra Bullock. And that was probably the issue. Recently, James publicly admitted to having cheated on the Oscar winner with a tattoo model, Michele McGee.
Of course, he didn’t break the news. In a scandalous tell-all to a popular magazine, the heavily inked Mcgee, who flaunts her nickname, Bombshell, claimed that she’d thought that the TV star was separated from Bullock.

It was only after seeing them together on the Oscars night that reality dawned on her. But that hasn’t stopped Mcgee from making public the racy messages that James had sent her only days before the Oscars, adding insult to injury.

Mcgee’s tattooed appearance couldn’t be more strikingly different from Bullock’s all-American appeal. She has posed nude for magazine shoots and reportedly has a tattoo of the Nazi swastika on her stomach.

Nothing perfect

“When men are looking for extramarital affairs, they are not looking for perfection,” explains Dr Rahul Ghadge. “They are driven by lust, unlike women who are driven by an unfulfilled need for love when they cheat on their spouses.”

Ghadge believes that men ignore factors like socio-economic status and compatibility, which they would ordinarily keep in mind when they are looking for a relationship.
“Tattooing is a sign of a hysterical personality; people who want to stand out and draw attention to themselves,” he explains. “Men who have the tendency to cheat are attracted to such attention-seeking women. They don’t want the perfect girl because they already have that at home.”
Bringing up issues

The clichéd line, ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’ may no longer hold true what with many couples blaming distance as one of the reasons for extramarital affairs. In the case of spouses who travel a lot, Ghadge recommends keeping in constant touch over the phone or Internet to prevent loneliness from creeping into a relationship.

Dr Jyoti Maheshwari points out that the difference in fame and stature between husband and wife could be another reason for an affair of this nature. “Men tend to have ego issues if their spouses earn more or are more popular than them. They could get affected by inferiority or insecurity.” Maheshwari advises discussing issues with one’s partner to avoid marital discord. He elaborates, “Even if bringing up issues results in an argument, at least it will make a few things clear. At times, it’s best to consult a professional so that problems can be sorted out smoothly.”

First Published: Mar 21, 2010 14:50 IST