Are teens emotionally shutting down? 5 things parents and schools can do to help

This common parenting mistake is widening the emotional gap with your teen: Expert reveals 5 things you can do about it.

How often have we heard teenagers say, “I'm fine”? At first glance, it may seem like a simple response but for many teens, these two words are not just a reply — they are a mask. Beneath them lie unspoken fears, unmet desires and silent struggles with failure or self-doubt.

Behind every “I’m fine” is a cry for help: Here's what teens wish you understood.(Photo by Dima Berlin on Getty Images)

In today’s fast-paced, high-pressure world, teenagers are expected to be perfect — to meet academic benchmarks, maintain social images and appear emotionally strong. Blame it on the picture-perfect lives they are exposed to on social media.

Teenage years can be messy with a bunch of tangled emotions children face, but parents can help them feel 'seen' and 'heard.' (Freepik)

 

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Mona Gujral, chief psychologist and a leading parenting coach on coto, an emotional wellness platform, shared, “This constant demand often leads them to suppress their true feelings out of fear of judgment, rejection, or disappointing the adults around them. ‘I’m fine’” becomes a powerful defense — a way to protect themselves when they don’t feel safe enough to express what they’re truly going through.”

Why does this happen?

Dr Gujral said, “Mental health challenges among teens are on the rise due to a complex mix of academic stress, digital overload, social isolation, family tension and societal expectations. Many feel emotionally disconnected despite being constantly connected online.”

 

Doctors say teenagers spend more time on their smartphones and laptops these days than outdoors, and this results in a lot of emotional and hormonal changes. (Shutterstock)

 

What can parents and schools do?

1. Normalise conversations about emotions: Create an atmosphere at home where all feelings — even the uncomfortable ones — are accepted and discussed.
2. Reframe success and focus on effort: Prioritise effort, resilience and growth over grades and accolades.
3. Teach digital balance: Help teens critically engage with social media and prioritise real-life connections.
4. Model healthy emotional habits: Show them that seeking help and expressing vulnerability are signs of strength, not weakness.
5. Encourage professional support: Let them know that talking to a counselor or therapist is both normal and beneficial.
6. Strengthen school-based support systems: Schools should provide mental health education and ensure teachers are trained to spot emotional red flags.

Dr Gujral asserted, “Teen mental health isn't just about crisis management — it's about prevention, connection, and compassion. When a teen says “I’m fine,” pause and stay present. The real conversation often begins then.”

She concluded with the advice, “Let’s build a world where our teens feel safe enough to say what they truly feel — and know that we are listening. As parents, we must learn to hear what’s not being said. Connecting more deeply with our teens requires us to move beyond surface-level conversations and create an environment where vulnerability is welcomed, not shamed.”